A soul in tension that’s learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earthbound misfit, I
– Pink Floyd Learning To Fly
Winter was always my favourite season. At first mainly because both my birthday and Christmas are in winter, so I had a lot to look forwards to. Now, while I still look forwards to these things my winters feel more melancholy, which is fine by me as in winter you can always blame your un-cheerful dispositon on the weather. Winter feels with you, doesn’t force you to go out and meet people because it’s freezing cold and snow on the ground so you can just stay home, covered underneath a blanket and read books or catch up on the TV shows everyone talks about. That’s why I don’t like autumn and spring, winter doesn’t pretend that things are better than they are. Oddly enough I like summer, because summer means freedom, at least for now.
These photos were taken on the Christmas morning, I woke up and the garden was filled with snow. After breakfast I ventured outside to take pictures of the stunning icicles and managed to take some self portraits. I stupidly forgot the most important part of my tripod in Glasgow which made it completely useless, so I had to improvise. I propped up my camera on the stairs to my house and after some manoeuvring got a good angle. I would have preferred to get more snow on the pictures but due to these limitations I couldn’t. But I still got acceptable results, which only shows that you don’t need to have all fancy gear to take a good picture it’s just a bit more challenging.
Because – Fuck You that’s why.
I’ve been feeling like I’m going insane in the past few days. So being the crazy photographer I am I decided to document it all. I wasn’t really gonna blog these pictures but I watched an old episode of Chase Jarvis Live last night at 2AM (cuz that’s how I roll) and some things they said really resonated with me. So to hell with safe and pretty, cause that’s what everyone else is doing. It’s time to dig deeper.
Just to clarify, I’m not actually crying that’s just how I looked after leaving the bath and loved the whole smeared makeup look. And despite my massive craving I didn’t retouch these photos so they’d look more authentic/ugly. I must say I prefer them in black and white but wanted to show off my new hair colour. Ironically enough after weeks of not getting any interpreting assignments, I’ve got one tomorrow so I’m gonna have to wash my hair a lot to make myself look slightly less crazy (it looks really bright in natural light).
Anyway, to those of you in the UK happy 5th of November. Fuck the government but bring on the fireworks!
My newest nickname. Apparently I seem very shy and then just say something unexpected that makes everyone laugh. I don’t think I’m particularly shy, it’s just that if I don’t have anything interesting to say, I don’t. I’m naturally an introvert though, and that’s fine by me although god knows that most of society considers it some sort of a personality defficiency that needs to be eradicated . I can be fun and chatty when I feel like it, especially in smaller groups, but when I don’t – too bad.
Anyway, I thought this is quite a good title as it features smoking which is in many cases considered to be a silent assassin. I shot this without much thought regarding the concept, I was just overjoyed by the temporary lack of rain and a rediscovery of my beloved black hat so I just wandered into my favourite location with a tripod just for the sake of it. The smoke doesn’t play a major part here, as I kept trying to get the timing right and forgot to change the settings until halfway through the cigarette. But I must say I do like the faint hint of smoke, especially in the gif. so I guess it proves a nice addition to my smoking series, which I might post once I’ve got more photos.
This self portrait session was an absolute nightmare. At first me and my friend planned to explore an abandoned hospital by the banks of Volga, but we got followed by the police. Probably shouldn’t be carrying my tripod but I absolutely didn’t expect that. After a nice walk and dinner, I decided to shoot at a place I discovered earlier but once I got there I realised I forgot the thing that connects your camera with the tripod (I’m sure it has a proper name but can’t be bothered googling it) so I had to go back. Not happy about that.
Also a few people would laugh at me when they saw me, not sure if it was the outfit or the red lipstick and the fact that I was carrying a big tripod and a camera bag. I know that my outfit would be more fitting for a hippie summer festival rather than a walk through busy streets of a provincial Russian city, but still. No wonder that all girls in Russia basically look the same… Nothing against Russians, some were really lovely but I just hate provincial attitudes where everything different is considered strange or laughable (apart from sushi, Russians love their sushi). That’s why I can’t wait to go back to Scotland where no one gives a damn, in the west end of Glasgow where I live you can see the pink-clad Byers road tranny or the Highlander guy who always walks his German Shepard wearing a full kilt and no one even raises an eyebrow…
But back to the shoot, despite the fact that I wasn’t in a great mood, I found a nice secluded place and set up my tripod hoping to spend a fun half an hour taking photos. Oh how wrong I was. I completely forgot about the mosquitos. They were everywhere. Buzzing in my ears when changing the settings on my camera, looking at the pictures or trying to strike a pose. That’s why I look so miserable at all of these – I’m anticipating the next mosquito attack. But I made myself stay until I get at least one good photo, this was my last chance to do a self portrait and wouldn’t want to leave Russia without at least one useable one, in order to justify dragging the tripod all the way there. So in the end I think I’m quite happy with the series. Here’s the rest. Let me know which one is your favourite.